Friday, May 3, 2013

What's In A Name - Fight Club Version

What's in a name?  'Nothing'.  It is absolutely nothing.  You think, you got a pretty name? Uh ho, hold on.  Just hold On. When I say think, you think. When I ask, you answer. Alright? Honestly, do you like your name?  How often you tell your full name? How happy you feel, when you write your name? Now comes the funny part. How many people call you by your name? You still think, you have a perfect name? Oh.. Take some responsibility guys. You are one among the million things that has a name. The entire family of flora, fauna, bacteria, distant stars, blood parasites, brain parasites, unseen planets, every invisible molecule, every unwanted children of God, every all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world has a name.  A perfect name.

Enough said on the topic, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to fight club. The first rule of fight club is, you should not use names. The second rule of fight club is, you should not call any organic decaying matter by their original name. No name is special even when they rhyme with some of the notorious words in your language.  Say after me, "I am not my name. My name is not my identity".  Yes. Your name is  not your identity. Your name is not your facebook account. Your name is just a good-for-nothing classification like caste, religion, stars.  Now, take a moment to think on this. Isn't losing your identity called freedom? If you change your name, if you interchange letters, will you become a different person? Will you become more blessed?

If you get the cue for changeover, you should join the fight club. As a member of fight club, you can call anyone or anything by what ever you feel like calling.  Yes. You should fight their so called Identity. I insist. Whoever you see next, call him/her a Pumpkin head, match stick maker, humdinger, sulphuric acid, space monkey, ashtray, christmas tree,  gold fish, french venilla, oil machine, color zebra, gelatin rose, whatever.  Fellas, it's not a God damn seminar. You can call people by whatever phrase you want.  You can greet them the way, you always wanted to greet. Remember, when you do, you feel things differently. Days will roll, time will pass in a better way, than you ever had.  You will not be emotionally attached to anyone because you won't remember them by their names. You will be no more attached to this tiny little world which is so obsessed with nameology, numerology, astrology and horoscopes.

Benefits beside, there is tremendous scope for agressive expansion. You can talk about the rules of fight club, but do not negotiate.  One should join Fight Club for freedom and not to impress anyone. When a new member joins fight club, you tell them the rules.  You are warned now. Without rules, we are all savages. If it is his first day in fight club, he should name at least 5 people, as fast as a magic trick.  He should no more ask 'Who are you?'. At fight club, we always ask, 'What are you'?. There is no age limit, there is no gender bias and there are no naming conventions. Fight club does not need a packed crowd or a candle light table or an artificially silenced library. It can happen over the waste part of your home or office, cafeteria, cabs, lobby, walls, here or anywhere.

No matter what, Fight Club should go on. Even if I ask you to stop, you should not stop.  Yes. That's rule number three. This is an ordeal moment. Trust me, the first day in Fight Club is going to be the hardest day. Even if you have been a drudge so far, you have to be creative in naming. Never mind. I know, you got it. After all, it's not quantum theory or deoxy ribonucleic acid that we are talking about. It is just meaning less words with a combination of vowels and consonants called 'names'. Let's talk about Cinderella dancing later. Let's evolve and roar. Let the chips may fall where they may.

Your Loving Martinet,
The Evil Overlord

What's in a name? - The Notebook version

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