Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Greatest Battle

This world in its existence has seen many battles and wars. The frequency of wars have come down with the evolution of mankind. Still they remain a threat. With all the sophisticated technologies and the nuclear weapons available now, a war could be a potential end or a new beginning. But, what worries us the most is the battle that happens within us - The Neural War.

Definitely, this is not only the fight between the heart and the mind. The heart always tells what it wants and the mind decides on how to achieve it. The heart clashes with the mind only in love or despair. When in love or despair, whatever we do, it strikes some chord in our heart that vibrates in our mind. Apart from this, there also happens the internal war between the two states of our own mind.

Needless to say, that our mind is our own battle field. Whenever I say mind, it means what we think, our thoughts. Fear and confusion are the main players here. What do we fear? Voidness, Darkness, loneliness, Ghosts, God?? No. We fear what we do not understand. We fear the choices we make. we fear the consequences and the impacts on us, our friends and relatives. The mind analyzes the situation and tries hard to come up with a result. Experience makes it easy for the brain to compare the current situation with prior events or patterns and help us in taking a wise decision. When there is an ambiguity in the comparison process,i.e choosing between two goods or two bads, we end up in confusion.

There is a popular saying "What the eyes see, the mind believes". Most of the time, we have two minds about anything we see. One analyzes what is good or fair and the other looks for what we desire or dream. That's why sometimes we see what we imagine and not what is real. These two states of mind can be considered as two different universes staying so close to each other and having their own powers. When these two great forces meet, it will be a game with serious and dangerous risks. It is more like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object - The Greatest Battle. The transformation from confusion to madness or dead lock happens during this battle.We fight against our own instincts and our emotional feelings start to take over.

Our central nervous system is the CPU for our human body. Do not play the game longer.This will result in high CPU utilization causing wear and tear on the brain vessels. When you are struck in a thought process or too much worried, just give a break. It doesn't mean that you are giving up on what you are trying. Try to avoid overloading the CPU with all your problems. Without the CPU, the power house (heart) takes no value. Apart from physical exercises, do some mental exercises as well. Practise Yoga, listen to music, feel silence and peace, sleep well. There is a proverb, "A Sound mind in a sound body". The vice-versa is true as well. A sound mind makes a sound body. When you are down with fever or physically tired, it is not only the medicines or tablets that make you stand up. The mind gives the command which we call "The Will Power" or "Hope".

Once you gain control over your internal minds, you can fight with greater power against any external forces. The heart never grieves for what the eyes see because you achieve what you think. The mind and the eyes see the same thing. You wont get confused often and you start to take things easy. You remain calm and strong while your mind fights against the minds of your opponents. You start to win only when your opponent starts losing his mind. In case, if you lose, say to yourself
"Let's fight one more time, the best and the last".

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Sad Song

My life was once you
You stood by me and came along
My hope was once you
It made me feel proud and strong

Eternity,I thought, was once you
Heaven took you and proved I was wrong.
Happiness was once you
Without you, happiness is just a sad song.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

பாதம் பட .. இதயம் துடிக்கும்

என்றோ ஒரு நாள்
உன் வீட்டு வாசலில்
என் இதயத்தை தொலைத்தேன்.
அன்று முதல் இயங்காத என் இதயம்
மீண்டும் உயிர் பெற்று துடிக்கும் !
என்றாவது ஒரு நாள்
உன் காலடி பாதத்தில்
மிதி படும் பொழுது !! ;)

Friday, March 20, 2009


பகலினில் காட்சி இல்லை
இரவினில் தூக்கம் இல்லை
கண்ணில் வலி இருந்தும்
இமை திறக்க வழி இல்லை
ஒரு விழியை அழவைத்து
மறு விழி சிரிக்கின்றது..
துன்பம் கண்களால் என்றாலும்
நீங்கள் நினைக்கும் வியாதி இல்லை..
இது மெட்ராஸ் - ஐ

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Onions Vs Memories

Certain things are lost for ever. But, not from our memories. Wounds heal but the scars remain. That's how memories exist. The scars act as keys to fetch buried memories. Most of the time, the human brain co-relates different things and forms the key. From there, it is a reverse traversal and the mind visualizes the main event and the heart feels the pain and wets the eyes again.

Onions on the other hand do the same. We peel off its outer layer and cut it into small pieces. The more you cut its cells, the more it stinks. The more you try to peel off and throw away, the more it makes you cry.

We come across onions and memories every day in our life. How can we overcome the irritation/pain the onions/memories bring into our eyes/mind? Hold on here and think for a minute.

A cool winter evening
On a roadside tea shop...
We ordered onion bajji
with a plateful of mutton chop.

We cracked all crap jokes
without minding the nearby folks
It was all fun
and we left one by one.

All those moments come in my eyes
Whenever I see onion fries
Sometimes tears pop out and fall
That's when you start to recall.

Onions make you cry
If you cut them dry
Onions give flashbacks for free
I like to cut onions, I agree. ;)

Bright stars twinkling at night
Fleet of birds moving out of sight
Full moon passing through the clouds
Super Star movies that draw cheering
Green grasses with drops of dew
Drifting cars that are brand new
A walk in the green lawn
And the list goes on..
All these pleasing things..
Smart and wonderful
Brilliant and beautiful
Remind me about you!!
Just make me sad.

For onions, keep them in a vessel containing water for about 10 minutes. At least, you can give a rinse in cold water before you start cutting. You can wear goggles to protect the gas substance that onions give off from reaching your eyes. Beware when you use sharp knife to chop onions. A little distraction here could end up cutting your fingers and create more bad memories :).

It is human beings natural tendency to get and forget things, if they are good. Only in case of bad memories, it becomes little hard to come out of the dead lock in the brain. But nothing is impossible. We need to always have a positive look on bad memories. We cannot change the memories but we can change the meaning they give. In fact, bad memories could be good lessons to us. Life is a test. We cannot avoid bad memories and a few we cannot forget in our life time. Rejoice, we always have a choice to ignore them. Never regret a thing that made you smile once.

- Firewall_Sudhan

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

உருவங்கள் மறைந்தாலும்

உன் கால் தடமே
பாதையாக தனியாக
நான் அலைந்தேன்
உன் பூ முகம்
தேடி சென்றேன் ..
மாலையில் வாடி நின்றேன்

தனித் தீவில்
என்னை விட்டாய்
வெகு தூரம்
நீ சென்றாய்
தொடு வானமாய்
ஏன் மறைந்தாய்?

உன் காலடி மண்
ஒவ்வொன்றும் சொல்லியது
"உலகத்தின் கண்களிலே
உன் உருவம் மறைந்தாலும்
ஒன்றான நம் உள்ளம்
ஒரு போதும் மறைவதில்லை"
Never Regret a thing that made you SMILE once

அமிர்தம் என்பது

மினரல் வாட்டரும் பிடிக்கவில்லை
மிஷின் காப்பியும் பிடிக்கவில்லை
மினி இட்லியும் பிடிக்கவில்லை
அளவு சாப்பாடும் பிடிக்கவில்லை
கண்ணில் பசி இருந்தும்
கையில் எடுக்க மனமில்லை!!
புரிந்துகொண்டேன் சென்னை வாழ்க்கையில்...
அமிர்தம் என்பது பாற்கடலில் இல்லை
அம்மா வைக்கும் புளி ரசத்தில் !!

Sunday, March 8, 2009


WHO AM I? I am Batman, left hand batsman :). A little more seriously, WHO AM I? An egoist? an egotist? an ambivert? an altruist? Spiderman? Everyone has multiple talents in them and at least a minimum of two personalities. One is what you see and what you believe. The other one, he never shows and you will never know. Just like the 'whoami' command in Unix operating systems that give the current user, I am here going to point out a few things about history of Firewall. Firewall is not just a fancy name. It's my identity. FYI, $whoami command is different from $user command.

I am a mixture of all of the above said characteristics and a few I have not mentioned here. When I first began to think about life, I had a vision that, every person in his lifetime, adds some value to the society or at least to his family and friends. In such way, no single individual in the society is isolated. We always are a part of the society. I also wanted to do something good for my family and friends. That's when I started to call myself Altruist_Sudhan.

Anything you want to achieve, the hardest part is in getting started. I faced so many problems when I started my life as Altruist_Sudhan. There wasn't any beginner's luck. I didn't know what was within my reach. I used to type some inspiring quotes and stick them on my Bi-Cycle bar cover. I started to count how many good things I do each day. By then, i slowly started to understand the bad things that happen in the outside world. You need not be an expert to learn bad things. They come to you with so much ease. But, you need a strong force within to keep them outside your limits.

I love this quote "winners do things differently". I tried to be different and unique. I became "Trailblazer_Sudhan". A welcome change for the betterment. Trailblazer_Sudhan had more plans than Altruist_Sudhan. I started listening to people, their problems and he had more time to think as well. Trailblazer could re-define the altruistic strategies and came with more rules and morals. I started to follow a regular schedule for my day to day activities like going to temples, reading Bible and being at home on all SUNDAYs. With so much rules to follow, the force that drove me started coming down exponentially.

Aggressiveness and a deep burning fire were missing to keep the drive. It was time for Warhorse_Sudhan to replace Trailblazer_Sudhan. Warhorse was a very good self-motivator and a good athlete. You need motivation more than glucose to run continuously for 2 hours. Warhorse was more optimistic and even if things go wrong, he could still look for something good in it and hopes for quick recovery. Warhorse could accept criticism and never thought twice to say if something is wrong. I never felt bored, never got excited over achievements and only believed that happiness is just a state of mind. Warhorse_Sudhan loves to be alone but never stayed away from home. As Warhorse, I could do almost anything with passion.

When warhorse_sudhan had to stay away from home for work, it was a bit hard. There was no control. Of course, there was freedom but without security. Once out of home, you are vulnerable to multiple attacks. You become like a PC connected to a public network without any administrators monitoring over you. Moreover, maintaining the legacy's reputation is vital. Warhorse_sudhan turned out to be Firewall_Sudhan.

After a few months, managing life outside Trichy became quite simple. I was alone but not lonely. I know what is good because i know what is bad. I do what I feel is right and not what is right. What is right for me may be wrong for someone. You can consider others but cannot convince them all. Justice should be balanced. Firewall dont need any boosts to achieve what he wants. The adrenaline remains high in the blood.

எரிமலை வெடிக்கையில் நீருண்ட மேகங்கள்
சில பூக்களும் எரியும் நான் கண்ட சோகங்கள்
எரிந்த பூக்கள் வான் கொண்ட விண்மீன்கள்
புதிய செடிகளுக்கு எருவாகும் நான் கண்ட காயங்கள்
நாட்டையே அழிக்கும் கண்கள் சொல்லும் போதை
நச்சுக்காடுகளை அழிக்கும் போது நான் கடந்து வந்த பாதை
சில பறவை கூடுகளும் அழியும் சோதனைகள் சூழ்ந்தாலும்
அழிந்த போதும் அது தர்மமாகும் சாதனைகள் தொடரும்
தயங்கி நிற்பதே அதர்மம் இனி... ... சரவெடி
- Samuraai - Firewall_Sudhan

Firewall's motto is simple. "Save the Firewall Legacy".Face the attacks, but not let anyone who believe in you go down. Character and Relationships are more important than your own goals and achievements.

You become what you think you are. It's not who you are underneath. What you do defines you. There are so much to tell. Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

ஓர் சொல்லில் ஓர் உலகம்..

I know a face
A Lovely face...

Glad that my first post is about my Mom. Just like every creature on this earth, I love my amma. The reasons are many. If there is one court that can forgive all my sins, it should be my Mom's heart. There is a popular saying "A tree is known by its fruit". The vice-versa is 100% true as well. Most of the good habits we possess, come from our parents. I still remember how I learnt Tamil language during my KGs, how i struggled to write tamil and english letters. My mom still says to me "I will write தோங்காய் , if someone asks me to write தேங்காய் ". Memorizing mathmatics tables was one other thing where I struggled a lot. After some consider amount of beatings, all those skills that were like scatterred stones, bricks and sands, turned out to be strong foundation. Oh yes, my mom is Firewall's chief architect.

I remember a few days of my KG's when my mom dropped me at school. I hardly listen to the class. I used to peep through the window all the time to check whether my mom has gone home. There were occassions when i shouted through the window "Amma .. paarthu ponga.. maadu varudhu". Somedays, I simply sat and kept on thinking that she was still waiting at the enterance. She helped me in my studies till my 5th Standard. Though not a first rank holder, i was above average in studies. I had a decent hand writing and some short term memory to retain certain things temporarily. Even now, everytime when some of my friends say "I have a good memory", i remember my mom winning first prize in Memory Contest held in our Colony Association.

All through my school days, i only had the old books used by my brother. Being one year elder to me, he enjoyed new books every year and the next year all i would get was a new cover for those books. :). Mom used to say "Be happy with what you have". There are millions of people who dont even have money to buy second hand books. I was a bit fortunate to get new books during my 12th standard. Thanks to Tamil Nadu Government, they changed the Syllabus. :)

Till 5th Standard, i was kind of swimming in a safe well. From 6th to 12th, it was kind of an ocean. The great ERHSS, Trichy!!. It's still one of the very few schools which has huge strength for each section. My class strength was around 120 during 6th and it was 161 during my 12th standard. No wonder...an average student who hardly listens could easily get lost in the crowd. So did I. I got good marks that are good enough to get a pass mark in most of the subjects and in a few I failed. I had to find lot of excuses for such low marks. Mom told, "It's a healthy competition out there. You have to fight for success and everytime you fail, it's where you have to show your efficiency".

During 12th standard, mom used to say I should join any of the Government colleges and money was one of the reasons. I had interests in computers but for the mark i got, it wasnt possible to get Computer Science in any of the DOTE 1 colleges. I somehow managed to get Civil Engineering in REC, Trichy. The place I would call heaven. :). Right from grocery shop keeper to Cable TV operator, everybody asked why I chose Civil engineering when the entire world was going behind computers and electronics and that worried me a lot. My mom would proudly say, "So What? He is doing in REC. He would have a good job when he completes his course" :)

Mom was a staff-nurse before marriage. I would rarely go to hospitals for any treatments. I had typhoid during my college and that was the time i realized how much sacrifice every parent does for their children. She didnt cook the regular food just because i was sick and she also had fasting most of the days. During those days, i was allowed to drink only Milk and orange juices. I hate milk and love to drink either Coffee or tea during the morning. Mom told, "If I continue to drink milk, i will start liking it after a few days". I immediately told her, here is the deal. "I will continue to drink Milk each day morning instead of tea or coffee for next one year. Even after one year, if I dont like milk, you have to prepare coffee/tea for me again". For one full year, i had only milk and at the end of the year I went back and said, "Mom... let me have my cup of coffee from tomorrow". It was a bit hard to have milk each morning and when you wake up hungry while the rest of family enjoys tea or coffe. I am happy and proud that I could give up something I like, for my mom.

Respect Others is what i learnt from my mom and Respect Yourself is what i learnt from my father. I respect others only if they are standing in front of me or speaking to me. I respect myself the most and hardly give respect to others,if they are not around. There are only a few people who deserve my respect all the time. If there is one person in this world, who I have never disrespected, it is my Mom.
"தாயின் காலடியே உலகம் முடியும் இடம்"

Thank you. Have a nice time!!